It was 5 a.m., the alarm yelling at me to go on the morning walk as a daily routine. I got up and found myself walking around the neighborhood with a racing mind and anxious thoughts about this self-improvement newsletter that I started.
For months, I had been working tirelessly, sacrificing sleep, exercise, and time with loved ones in pursuit of this goal.
I have to admit that I started to feel exhausted, stressed, and increasingly disconnected from the very reasons I had started on this journey in the first place.
As the burden of burnout weighed heavier on me, I couldn't help but question: Was this constant state of self-neglect truly necessary for success?
I pushed myself relentlessly, always feeling like I wasn't doing enough, believing that suffering was an unavoidable part of reaching my goals.
You might find my journey relatable as well—the tendency to prioritize goals over personal well-being, often at the cost of our physical, emotional, or even spiritual health.
We convince ourselves that sacrifice and struggle are the requirements for growth, and failing to recognize that neglecting our own needs can sabotage our efforts and steal the joy from the journey itself.
In this reckless pursuit of success, we lose sight of a crucial truth: our bodies and minds are vessels that carry us through life's journey and challenges.
Neglecting a vessel's care and maintenance can lead to burnout, decreased productivity, and a lack of fulfillment, even when our goals are achieved.
Conventional wisdom has long dictated that success demands constant sacrifice—that true achievement can only be reached through relentless hustle, personal neglect, and an unwavering focus on our goals at any cost.
For too long, we've bought into the flawed mindset that success demands constant suffering—that true achievement can only be realized through relentless hustle and an obsessive focus on our goals above all else.
Then we might find ourselves in these situations:
- Prioritize work over rest
- Productivity over well-being
- Outcomes over the journey itself
We push ourselves to the edge, ignoring the warning signs of burnout and convincing ourselves that this is the price we must pay for greatness.
Unfortunately, this flawed mindset can result in:
- Stress and anxiety that wear us down over time
- Strained relationships
- Feelings of depression and emptiness, no matter how much we achieve
I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live. — Ecclesiastes 3:12
You may reach the mountaintop, but at what cost? And if you've sacrificed your joy and well-being along the way, can you truly savor the view?
If you ever find yourself in this situation, just remember to enjoy the process, as I talked about in my previous article "Clarify Your Vision If You're Feeling Lost (From Fog to Focus")
Maintain Your Vessel by Becoming Antifragile
You've probably seen a lot of content in grind culture on social media that urges you to work harder and maintain self-discipline to achieve your goals.
I won't deny that hard work and self-discipline are crucial for success.
But we've been conditioned to believe that suffering is not only inevitable but necessary for our ambitions to prove their worth.
I want to introduce you to the concept of "antifragility," developed by Nassim Taleb. This concept can be summed up simply as the ability not just to bounce back from pressure or adversity, but to actually grow stronger and thrive because of it.
It's about becoming more resilient and robust through challenges, rather than merely enduring or surviving them.
This perspective turns the conventional sacrifice narrative upside down. Instead of viewing well-being as a luxury to be delayed, it emphasizes emotional and physical self-care as essential fuels for the journey itself.
How can we hope to thrive and grow if we are running on empty? Like a fire starved of oxygen, our dreams and potential are quenched when we neglect the vessel carrying us toward them.
This is not about indulging in pure hedonism, it's about balancing between purposeful living and showing up fully nourished, so we can pour from a full cup into what matters most.
When our cores are stable and resilient, we improve rather than decrease our capability to make smart choices, overcome setbacks, and keep making progress consistently over time.
More than just being practical, this mindset allows us to embrace a radical perspective shift: that the journey itself can be cherished, not just endured until the final destination.
We can enjoy our life deeply at every milestone, not just endure the trials upon reaching the top. Real success isn't choosing between happiness now or fulfillment later. It means feeling satisfied and engaged every step of the way, not just at the very end.
Nurture Your Journey with the SPIRE well-being
Let me introduce you to the SPIRE well-being. This model is a way to take care of your whole self while you work towards your goals.
The SPIRE well-being integrates 5 key domains:
- Spiritual
- Physical
- Intellectual
- Relational
- Emotional
By nurturing each of these domains, you can develop an antifragile core—strengthened rather than strained by challenges.
Here are steps you can take to cultivate these domains in the SPIRE Model.
1) Anchor Your Purpose (Spiritual)
The Lord has made everything for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble. — Proverbs 16:4
The Bible scripture in Proverbs suggests that every creation has its own purpose.
Our spiritual foundation is built upon this purpose, and to find it, you can simply begin with the question 'why' as I talked about in the previous article.
You might feel like you don't have a meaningful goal and are simply living day by day, but you have a purpose more than you realize.
Start your day with intention. Grab your journal notebook and write down your goals and intentions for the day.
2) Strengthen Your Vessel (Physical)
Do not toil to acquire wealth; be discerning enough to desist. — Proverbs 23:4
Your physical and mental health are the vessels that carry you on your journey. Neglecting your body and mind makes it harder for you to cope with challenges and bounce back resiliently.
Adopting healthy habits such as exercise and nutritious eating can strengthen your vessel.
Regarding your mind, work can be stressful, but the issue is not the stress itself—it's inevitable. The key to managing stress lies in finding effective ways to recover from it.
Every weekend, remember to take a break. Plan a vacation or free time to relax and step away from work.
3) Feed Your Mind (Intellectual)
An investment in knowledge pays the best interest. — Benjamin Franklin
Being curious and open to new experiences while engaging in deep learning is vital.
The beautiful thing about learning is this: unlike material possessions that can be lost. Once you truly obtain a skill, it can't be taken away from you, it's all yours forever.
Continuously feeding your mind through reading, taking courses, listening to podcasts, or exploring new ideas allows your mind to grow and expand your perspectives.
Adopting a student's mindset and remaining humble enough to embrace lifelong learning allows new knowledge to enhance your capabilities.
If you want to find out more about the effective learning process you can check my very first article "How to Unlock Your Potential as a High-Level Learner"
4) Nurture Your Connections (Relational)
Happiness only real when shared — Christopher McCandless
Our relationships are not something to be sacrificed, but to be protected. As Christopher McCandless discovered towards the end of his solitary journey into the Alaskan wilderness. "True happiness is only real when shared with others."
Despite living a self-sufficient life in harmony with nature, his final words revealed his realization that joy cannot be fully experienced alone.
Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow. — Swedish Proverb
This ancient Swedish proverb reveals the truth, our genuine connections with loved ones multiply life's joys while dividing its pains.
By nurturing our relationships through quality time and celebration, we cultivate resilient support structures. Strong bonds renew our souls, even in the middle of our strivings.
You can take action by prioritizing a weekly video call with family, taking a vacation with friends, or simply being present during conversations.
I admit that I'm not good in the relational domain, I often find myself stuck in the racing mind with my work. But I promise to value my loved ones more and to join you on this journey.
5) Practice Self-Awareness (Emotional)
He who blames others has a long way to go on his journey. He who blames himself is halfway there. He who blames no one has arrived. — Ancient China Knowledge
On the journey of personal growth, one of the greatest pitfalls we must avoid is the trap of playing the victim.
I have experienced this pitfall myself. Whenever something bad happened, I would look for someone to blame. If I was discontent with something, I would find a way to complain about it. Trust me, it's not healthy at all.
I know this is one of the most toxic traits anyone can have. If you're doing this, please stop. Complaining and blaming might hurt someone's feelings, but it will always hurt you for damn sure, and it won't fix any problems.
Gratitude is not only the greatest of the virtues, but the parent of all of the others — Cicero
Instead of blaming and complaining, you should develop the emotional intelligence to face all experiences, whether pleasant or challenging, with calmness and responsibility.
Your problems and sufferings don't always have to be bad things. They reveal your true character and highlight what you need to change.
By shifting your perspective, you can see these trials as opportunities for growth rather than reasons for self-pity or resentment.
You can practice this by journaling, writing down three things you are grateful for each morning, and doing self-reflection at night on what happened and how it affected your emotions.
This self-awareness practice will help you respond thoughtfully rather than react carelessly. It transforms suffering into insights and helps develop your potential.
If you're interested, you can grab the Learning Journal as a Notion template for free by clicking here. I've updated both the gratitude and reflection journals to this new version.
In the pursuit of your goals, it's important to maintain your entire being, not just immerse yourself in hard work.
Your bodies and minds are vessels that carry you through life's journey. If they become broken, there may not be a vessel to carry you to your destination.
That's it for the letter, my friend. I hope you enjoy this weekend with your loved ones.
Don't forget to maintain your vessel. Thank you for reading.
— Mu